I can tell I'm getting older, because time seems to be going by way too fast. Jessie and I have been together for two and a half years, and engaged for a year and a half. And we have an actual wedding date! June 11, 2016. And I have a job at which I stayed late working today, not because anyone forced me to, but because I needed to get things done. Child!me would be horrified. The most exciting material additions to my life are an apartment that Jessie and I don't share with anyone, and a new mattress that makes me feel like a princess. I enjoy watching HGTV with Jessie on a regular basis. I'm very excited about the curtains we recently got from my mother, because they go great with the lithograph we got framed.
And yet, I watch more cartoons (anime) than I ever have in my life (probably) and have more game systems than I've ever owned. Being a "grown up" certainly isn't what I feared it would be as a child, and I'm really glad I did grow up (good choice, me). As a child I thought being an adult meant working in a cubicle and buying watches and you would only ever get clothes as a present. Now of course, I would LOVE to get some new clothes as a present, but there's so much more to being an adult. I love the feeling of security that no matter what happens, I can handle it. I'll get through it, because humans are surprisingly resilient, and even though I am only 26, I've already been through quite a few things.
I enjoy reflecting, having deep conversations, planning for the future but knowing it will be nothing like my plans. I'm actually planning a wedding, which is crazy. I try to remember if I ever had dreams of being a bride as a child, but I really don't think I did. My barbie dolls never got married. There was one time my barbie doll systematically married and then murdered each of my ken dolls, but I'm not sure that counts as the typical dreams of weddings that are talked about. I guess my first memory of a wedding was a family friend's daughter named Liz. She was probably in her 20s, which is weird to think that I am now her age. I thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world, and one time when I was staying at her house, I secretly used her shampoo in hopes I would have beautiful hair like hers. (It was ThermaSilk.) Her wedding dress was strapless and had a corset back, and it was the most beautiful wedding dress (the only wedding dress) I had ever seen.
But that's the extent of it. So I'm not sure where my current insistence on a perfect wedding came from. I guess just because I've met the perfect person, so I want a perfect wedding to go with it. And a perfect honeymoon, and an apartment that is impeccably decorated with a scheme that flows throughout the house.
I have no visions of an actual house yet, and certainly not babies. Rather I have dreams of traveling the world. I want to have adventures.
But I also want to keep watching anime and playing video games and spending too much time on the internet.
It's hard, because it's already May and it feels like life is just moving too fast. How do I enjoy wasting time and at the same time not let my dreams fall through the cracks?
There's too many great shows to watch, too many great books to read, and I've got too many stories to write, and things to do. I want to become fluent in Japanese, I want to learn Korean, I want to actually be social from time to time, and perhaps even have dinner parties. I want to finish my silly story and write the book I'd like to publish. I want to learn to cook and not be overwhelmed by the idea of it. I want to start running and exercising and get fit.
Then somewhere in all that, I have to sleep. And work, because the worst part about being a grown up is money.
I guess I just have to remind myself that if everything goes according to plan, I'm only a quarter of the way through my life. I've got plenty of time. So I guess I'll just keep living the way my mother raised me, which is that it's okay to try out many things. It's okay to change your mind. Try something out. You don't have to force yourself to continue if you don't enjoy it.
That being said, I'm going to play video games now. I'm playing Persona 4 right now, and I'm determined to actually finish this one.
Thursday, May 7, 2015
Monday, September 30, 2013
3 days in reverse
Today was a very productive day, if I do say so myself.
I had planned on waking up early, for several reasons. I actually asked Jessie to wake me up at 10, which is pretty much dawn for me. I had lots to get done today, but more so than that, I'm trying to escape my nocturnal life. Even before I worked in a bar, I am naturally drawn to the vampire's lifestyle (minus the blood sucking). My peak hours are between 10pm and 3am, generally speaking. But it's rough being on opposite hours from the one you love, so I'm trying to get it so we can fall asleep together once more.
My plans did not succeed. I woke up at 4pm. But! After rising, I made another honey cinnamon latte and had half a bagel with pumpkin butter on top!
I fucking love pumpkin season. In fact, my goal tomorrow is to make my own pumpkin spice sauce for my latte! I'm excited, I'll let you know how it goes. Anyways. After bagel and latte consumption, I did laundry, took the trash out, swept the balcony (it's less ugly now! or at least less covered in sawdust and bugs), and took a shower! And this was all before 6pm!
THEN it gets even better. Being unemployed is doing wonders for my self-betterment project. I practiced my ukulele today! I'm working on learning Living Room by Tegan and Sara. I wouldn't say it was my favorite of theirs, but recently it's in my head all the time. It's not new either, but there's just something about it that has really grown on me. But then again, I love all of Tegan and Sara's songs so much, I wouldn't be surprised if I went through phases of every last one of their songs being my favorite. I recorded myself practicing the strum pattern, but it's pretty terrible and I'm not wearing pants, so you can watch the official music video instead.
Well, on that note, I'm going to bed. I have bread to bake and mead to make tomorrow! And maybe tomorrow I'll finally write about the Vegas trip! It's a good thing Jessie has a good memory. She can remember things for me.
I had planned on waking up early, for several reasons. I actually asked Jessie to wake me up at 10, which is pretty much dawn for me. I had lots to get done today, but more so than that, I'm trying to escape my nocturnal life. Even before I worked in a bar, I am naturally drawn to the vampire's lifestyle (minus the blood sucking). My peak hours are between 10pm and 3am, generally speaking. But it's rough being on opposite hours from the one you love, so I'm trying to get it so we can fall asleep together once more.
My plans did not succeed. I woke up at 4pm. But! After rising, I made another honey cinnamon latte and had half a bagel with pumpkin butter on top!
latte art is still a no go
I fucking love pumpkin season. In fact, my goal tomorrow is to make my own pumpkin spice sauce for my latte! I'm excited, I'll let you know how it goes. Anyways. After bagel and latte consumption, I did laundry, took the trash out, swept the balcony (it's less ugly now! or at least less covered in sawdust and bugs), and took a shower! And this was all before 6pm!
THEN it gets even better. Being unemployed is doing wonders for my self-betterment project. I practiced my ukulele today! I'm working on learning Living Room by Tegan and Sara. I wouldn't say it was my favorite of theirs, but recently it's in my head all the time. It's not new either, but there's just something about it that has really grown on me. But then again, I love all of Tegan and Sara's songs so much, I wouldn't be surprised if I went through phases of every last one of their songs being my favorite. I recorded myself practicing the strum pattern, but it's pretty terrible and I'm not wearing pants, so you can watch the official music video instead.
Tegan and Sara - Living Room
Jessie started her new quarter today, she had class from 8 until 5ish. After she got home and had a short nap, we went to the Bi-Lo that is going out of business. We maaaay have gotten a little carried away. Luckily we have lots of food stamp money (another plus of being unemployed) so no harm done. Dinner was nothing exciting, we got one of those "chef prepared" steam in the microwave Harris Teeter dinners... it wasn't BAD, but it wasn't great either. But our mashed potatoes are always AWESOME. The mozzarella sticks we got today were a yummy side as well.
Because I am a Halloween and horror fanatic, we watched a scary movie tonight and last night. Tonight's feature was The Devil Inside. It wasn't terrifying by any means, but it might've qualified as creepy. I enjoyed the documentary style, but the ending was weirdly abrupt. I'm sure they were going for that sudden cut of that leaves you jittery and terrified that you're going to be next, but it left me feeling "wait, that's it?" "it's over?" and over all a bit unsatisfied. It wasn't so bad I'd call it a waste of time, but I wouldn't recommend it either.
Before bed, I finish my productive day with one last thing...
I baked bread!
Well, I'm baking it anyways. I mixed up the dough, and it'll rise all night and I can bake it tomorrow. Homemade bread! I'm really becoming a housewife now! This is my first attempt, I hope it turns out alright! (Thanks to Carrie for the inspiration)
Yesterday I cleaned and unpacked while Jessie was gone at Renaissance Faire dress rehearsal all day. I met her and a bunch of other rennies at Steak n Shake.
before
after
The s'mores shake is THE SHIT. I still don't understand why they don't have a pumpkin shake though.
We came home and did porridge face! Traveling really didn't do great things for my skin nor Jessie's, so I forced upon her my favorite face mask. Oatmeal, organic plain low-fat yogurt, and honey. (Thanks to Carlie for this one)
#fierce
The day before yesterday I can't remember the beginning of, (this is why I need to hurry and make my Vegas post because I have a horrible memory) but for the last half Jessie and I went to the mall and exchanged her too big shoes for some sexy DCs that have pinstripes and fit! I told her I think I'm developing a shoe fetish because she just looks so damn good in them. (But then I wondered, don't all girls have shoe fetishes? Jessie just stared at me. So I corrected myself- all femmes at least...) Then we went to Kohl's and played pretend in the house section.
Caught a gorgeous sunset at the mall
Not Jessie's new shoes, but these vans looked adorable on her as well
LOOK HOW ADORABLE THESE ESPRESSO CUPS ARE (*A*)
Then we came home and had steak with bearnaise sauce, mashed potatoes, cheesy garlic bread, and a salad. It was delicious! We watched Cabin in the Woods (I'd been meaning to see it for ages) and it was AWESOME. Not exactly terrifying either, but a FANTASTIC movie. Really cool. Highly recommend. And there was enough blood and gore to keep me from missing the terror! I was a big fan of the overall concept of the movie too.
I like a little gore with my steak too!
I've decided to apply to be a substitute teacher or possibly a teacher's assistant. It'd be nice to have benefits and to get in the classroom before going to Japan. I also might be able to work at the Renaissance Faire this year too! I'm excited and really crossing my fingers on that one. I've spent the last year looking into Jessie's world and getting to know her faire family, but it would be really neat to actually become apart of it all. Cross your fingers! Though I don't know what that would mean for going out for Halloween or for going to Scarowinds... Hmmmm. Well, if all else fails, I can always pump myself full of energy drinks and party anyways. I think I might be a little nervous to do Faire, it's just such a commitment, and it really is like joining another world. I've been comfortable on the very outside of that world looking in, but I'm both nervous and excited at the chance to actually cross into it.
Oh, I finished reading Odd Thomas. I'm on Forever Odd now. I've got some quotes for you now.
This quote from Odd Thomas reminded me of my post on fame and hollywood. I went back and reread it, I didn't really remember writing it but I really like it! Is that weird? Anyways, here's the quote:
""Gladys," Stormy said. "Her name was Gladys, wasn't it?" There is a movie-star fame like that enjoyed by Tom Cruise, rock-star fame like that of Mick Jagger, literary fame, political fame…. But mere fame has grown into real legend when people of different generations remember your mother's name a quarter of a century after your death and nearly half a century after hers."
I wonder if we'll ever have another legend like that?
Here's a couple from Forever Odd.
"When the constellation of Cassiopeia is in this hemisphere and I am able to identify it, I feel less alone.
This isn't a reasoned response to a configuration of stars, but the heart cannot flourish on logic alone. Unreason is an essential medicine as long as you do not overdose."
This isn't a reasoned response to a configuration of stars, but the heart cannot flourish on logic alone. Unreason is an essential medicine as long as you do not overdose."
I really like that last line.
And here's the last quote, this one on happiness. I agree wholeheartedly with this quote. It's something I'd like everyone to know.
""I'm happy," I assured him.
For a block or so, he didn't say anything. Then:
"You're at peace, son. There's a big difference."
"Which would be what?"
"If you're still, and if you don't hope too much, peace will come to you. It's a grace. But you have to choose happiness."
"It's that easy, is it? Just choose?"
"Making the decision to choose isn't always easy."
I said, "This sounds like you've been thinking too much."
"We sometimes take refuge in misery, a strange kind of comfort."
Although he paused, I said nothing.
He continued: "But no matter what happens in life, happiness is there for us, waiting to be embraced." "
For a block or so, he didn't say anything. Then:
"You're at peace, son. There's a big difference."
"Which would be what?"
"If you're still, and if you don't hope too much, peace will come to you. It's a grace. But you have to choose happiness."
"It's that easy, is it? Just choose?"
"Making the decision to choose isn't always easy."
I said, "This sounds like you've been thinking too much."
"We sometimes take refuge in misery, a strange kind of comfort."
Although he paused, I said nothing.
He continued: "But no matter what happens in life, happiness is there for us, waiting to be embraced." "
Well, on that note, I'm going to bed. I have bread to bake and mead to make tomorrow! And maybe tomorrow I'll finally write about the Vegas trip! It's a good thing Jessie has a good memory. She can remember things for me.
Til tomorrow, embrace happiness!
Friday, September 27, 2013
Autumn Aspirations
It's 6:28pm EST and I am finally starting my day. I'm sitting on my balcony in a not very comfortable chair (which has been rescued and put to re-use by my roommate- it was originally mine, but it's old, ugly, and stained, so I acquired a better, prettier, more comfortable chair that actually leans back from my mother when we moved into this place six or seven months ago) with my phone, laptop, nook, and latte. I wish our balcony was more comfortable (and less ugly). there are mysterious stains on the concrete, there's sawdust on the ground and a piece of wood from when Jessie and I built our bookshelf (we were true DIY lesbians that day), and I'm using a block of concrete as a footrest (not to mention this ugly chair I keep mentioning).
But life is perfect right now. It really is. You can always find something to complain about, but happiness is truly about perspective. The glass is half empty, yes, but it's also half full. I lost my job two days before my surprise trip to Las Vegas with my girlfriend to celebrate our 1 year anniversary (our anniversary is actually October 16th, but this was the only week off she had from school). I had gotten my first real credit card for the occasion (not counting my Lowes card we got so we could get a discount on a washer), because my job was purely tips based, which meant I didn't have enough for our trip at the moment, but would no doubt be able to easily pay off my credit card within a month or two. That was the plan anyways.
The trip was worth every penny. Jessie says it was the best trip of her life, and that in itself is enough for me. But as Jessie says, we could be sleeping on someone's floor and as long as we're together, it would be a fantastic vacation. But I'll do a post all about our trip later. This is going to be purely a thoughts that cross my mind in this moment post.
Unfortunately I've not figured it out yet. I think I heated my milk too fast, and probably did not tamp my espresso enough. So I put cinnamon on top. Ta-da, still looks pretty. And tastes fantastic. My current favorite latte is this honey cinnamon latte. I discovered it in Asheville while visiting Carrie. I stopped in the World Coffee Shop (or whatever it was called) and the man in front of me got a honey latte with cinnamon on top. So I swore to try it next go round. It's perfect for having an espresso machine at home, because you don't have to buy coffee syrups- all you need is honey. Not to mention it's really delicious, and cinnamon is perfect for this wonderful season of fall.
I'm so happy it's finally autumn. I feel as though I could make it through anything in this season. Pumpkin spice everything, pumpkin beers, a crispness in the air, no need for AC or heat, the crunch of colorful leaves under your boots... There's so much to love. And that's not even considering all my favorite holidays- Halloween, my birthday, our anniversary, Thanksgiving, the Christmas season... So how can I be scared or despair when there's so much to look forward to? A small part of me nags that this is also the start of the most expensive season, and nothing causes despair and stress quite like financial worries, but I know things will work out. God has always been looking out for me, even though I'm still figuring out who He is exactly. Just yesterday, when I was tired from our red eye flight back and reality was starting to rear its ugly head, Jessie got an email from the photo studio she applied to about an interview. She would be getting paid more and be working in her field. I rarely talk about religion, but autumn also gives me a spiritual feeling that can show up when I'm feeling reflective or philosophical. I'm not sure "religion" is the word though, it's more on the level of a spiritual reflection perhaps.
I'm afraid our basil is dying. Our cilantro kicked the bucket ages ago, but our basil was doing great for a while. Jessie is definitely the green thumb of the two of us. I'm entirely too forgetful to care for plants (or animals or humans really), out of site out of mind has always been a problem of mine. I think I just live in my head too much. But Jessie loves plants and wishes we had a garden, or at least an herb garden. I would love that too, an herb garden surrounding a comfortable chair and footrest and maybe even a little table. I would write out here everyday. But I'll let Jessie be the gardener.
My footrest and nook
But life is perfect right now. It really is. You can always find something to complain about, but happiness is truly about perspective. The glass is half empty, yes, but it's also half full. I lost my job two days before my surprise trip to Las Vegas with my girlfriend to celebrate our 1 year anniversary (our anniversary is actually October 16th, but this was the only week off she had from school). I had gotten my first real credit card for the occasion (not counting my Lowes card we got so we could get a discount on a washer), because my job was purely tips based, which meant I didn't have enough for our trip at the moment, but would no doubt be able to easily pay off my credit card within a month or two. That was the plan anyways.
The trip was worth every penny. Jessie says it was the best trip of her life, and that in itself is enough for me. But as Jessie says, we could be sleeping on someone's floor and as long as we're together, it would be a fantastic vacation. But I'll do a post all about our trip later. This is going to be purely a thoughts that cross my mind in this moment post.
I really want to learn to do latte art.
I'm so happy it's finally autumn. I feel as though I could make it through anything in this season. Pumpkin spice everything, pumpkin beers, a crispness in the air, no need for AC or heat, the crunch of colorful leaves under your boots... There's so much to love. And that's not even considering all my favorite holidays- Halloween, my birthday, our anniversary, Thanksgiving, the Christmas season... So how can I be scared or despair when there's so much to look forward to? A small part of me nags that this is also the start of the most expensive season, and nothing causes despair and stress quite like financial worries, but I know things will work out. God has always been looking out for me, even though I'm still figuring out who He is exactly. Just yesterday, when I was tired from our red eye flight back and reality was starting to rear its ugly head, Jessie got an email from the photo studio she applied to about an interview. She would be getting paid more and be working in her field. I rarely talk about religion, but autumn also gives me a spiritual feeling that can show up when I'm feeling reflective or philosophical. I'm not sure "religion" is the word though, it's more on the level of a spiritual reflection perhaps.
I'm afraid our basil is dying. Our cilantro kicked the bucket ages ago, but our basil was doing great for a while. Jessie is definitely the green thumb of the two of us. I'm entirely too forgetful to care for plants (or animals or humans really), out of site out of mind has always been a problem of mine. I think I just live in my head too much. But Jessie loves plants and wishes we had a garden, or at least an herb garden. I would love that too, an herb garden surrounding a comfortable chair and footrest and maybe even a little table. I would write out here everyday. But I'll let Jessie be the gardener.
I hope that stink bug creature doesn't eat the leaves...
They say writing every day extends your life, or something like that. Now that I'm unemployed, maybe I can start developing positive habits. I want to cook more (must become the proper housewife for my sweetie), I want to make our home into a comfortable, beautiful living space, and I want to write every day. So I'm going to try and blog every day. I doubt there will be any sort of theme. I might talk about books, I might talk about movies, maybe one day it'll be a food blog, one day it'll be a writing blog, but I guess in general it will be all of these things. My weird lesbian life blog. (I put lesbian in there because if I talk about anything consistently, you can bet it'll be Jessie.) I also want to work out more, I want to get both my mind and body in shape. I've got plenty of time, I want to make use of it.
The most important thing in my near future is trying to find a job, I suppose. I don't want to end up destitute, kicked out on the streets. (How would I blog then?) I'm not sure what I want to do though. I know I want to go back to Japan, but that can't happen until Jessie graduates. As much as I loved only working three days a week, I really want a day job. It was hard working opposite hours from Jessie, and I look forward to coming home before 4am on my next job. I had been planning on quitting anyways, but I was hoping to have my next job first... I would rather not work retail again, especially not right before the holidays. I know booksamillion would hire me back, as long as I'm at a different location from Jessie. But I wouldn't enjoy going back to that pay... I guess I'll just have to keep my chin up and my eyes peeled for opportunities.
One thing I will say about my trip is that I started reading Odd Thomas (by Dean Koontz) again. It's such an excellent series and Odd is such an excellent character. The second go round reading this first book is a different experience though, since I know what happens in the end, it makes it quite sad. I dreaded reading it almost, but I wanted to reread so I can read the others in the series that have recently come out. I really recommend everyone read this book though, it's just so excellent. I find myself making Jessie listen to random quotes from the book. I'm trying to start keeping a list of quotes from the book in Evernote, but I was a little slow to start this, so I'm sure I missed some good ones from the beginning of the book. Here's one I did get though:
"Most people desperately desire to believe they are part of a great mystery, that Creation is a work of grace and glory, not merely the result of random forces colliding. Yet each time they are given but one reason to doubt, a worm in the apple of the heart makes them turn away from a thousand proofs of the miraculous, whereupon they have a drunkard's thirst for cynicism, and they feed upon despair as a starving man upon a loaf of bread."
It's a great quote, no matter what you believe. Rather than being a commentary on religion, I'd say it says more about humans. I'll try and collect more good ones and share them when I find them.
My project for the next few days (other than blogging) is this:
I'm going to make MEAD.
We got the bottles ages ago (thankfully since I can't afford them now) and it's officially AUTUMN (my favorite season, have I mentioned that yet?) so MEAD! Jessie introduced me to mead last year, being the rennie she is (someone that works in the Renaissance Faire in case you're not familiar with the slang), and it's so strong and sweet and excellent, and I'm looking forward to this adventure! Maybe if it turns out well, I can sell it! At the very least it would make a great gift for the holidays. (I'll have to come up with more bottles though....) Another reason I'm so detirmed to make this happen is that alcohol is not covered by my food stamps, and I am an appreciator of delicious booze. (My goal of drink all the pumpkin beers might have to be put on hold until I get a job...)
I think that's all the random thoughts I had in my head for now. I should probably unpack or clean... but I think I'll save that for tomorrow. Today I have friends to skype with and a great book to read. If you would like to skype with me as well, please just tell me your username and I will message you! I used to have a very vibrant social life on the internet, so another goal is going to be rekindling that!
Thanks for reading my ridiculously long post (if anyone did). Tomorrow I'll tell all my adventures in VEGAS! (including the butter incident)
À demain!
Friday, April 5, 2013
Neglect & Reunion
That title sounds like an episode of fullmetal alchemist or something, doesn't it? Or any angsty anime, let's be honest.
I have been neglecting the internet (tumblr and twitter and all my internet friends and basically everything that isn't real life not fun things) because in the past month my bookstore closed, and I moved in with my girlfriend and her best friend. Now we're all moved in (just my girlfriend and me so far) and I'm all unemployed and my dapper woman is off being the breadwinner and I find myself struggling with a lack of purpose.
I don't know what it is but I've had a growing depression in my head for a while that is finally making itself known to me. It was like a virus inside me since January and only a few symptoms presented themselves until now, and they were symptoms that were easily attributed to other things, so I really didn't see this coming. So now, all of a sudden, getting out of bed is a struggle and I don't really have any good reasons to force myself to do so. Such feelings are a fucking pain in the ass when I'm at such an exciting time in my life, I should be happy and jumping on opportunities... Luckily the female is very patient with my moody ass, for which I am very grateful.
I lose motivation so easily.
Like just now.
Why was I writing this?
Ah, right, "reunion." Well. Being unemployed and purposeless as I am, (not to mention broke as fuck) I will probably be on the internet a lot more. So I can reunite with friends, get re-addicted to tumblr and twitter, play video games... I wish I knew a good messenger for mac... because my mac HATES msn messenger.
Loss of motivation
Sighs again
Wow, is it already almost 4pm? My only goal for the day is to get dressed, go to the apartment complex office, and get a copy of our lease so I can apply for food stamps. So I can eat something other than lattes every day. (I love having an espresso machine, it is my reason for living, and the reason I am never ever allowed to complain about our roommate.) I better get moving, the office closes at 6, and I am very slow moving these days.
xoxo
I have been neglecting the internet (tumblr and twitter and all my internet friends and basically everything that isn't real life not fun things) because in the past month my bookstore closed, and I moved in with my girlfriend and her best friend. Now we're all moved in (just my girlfriend and me so far) and I'm all unemployed and my dapper woman is off being the breadwinner and I find myself struggling with a lack of purpose.
I don't know what it is but I've had a growing depression in my head for a while that is finally making itself known to me. It was like a virus inside me since January and only a few symptoms presented themselves until now, and they were symptoms that were easily attributed to other things, so I really didn't see this coming. So now, all of a sudden, getting out of bed is a struggle and I don't really have any good reasons to force myself to do so. Such feelings are a fucking pain in the ass when I'm at such an exciting time in my life, I should be happy and jumping on opportunities... Luckily the female is very patient with my moody ass, for which I am very grateful.
I lose motivation so easily.
Like just now.
Why was I writing this?
Ah, right, "reunion." Well. Being unemployed and purposeless as I am, (not to mention broke as fuck) I will probably be on the internet a lot more. So I can reunite with friends, get re-addicted to tumblr and twitter, play video games... I wish I knew a good messenger for mac... because my mac HATES msn messenger.
Loss of motivation
Sighs again
Wow, is it already almost 4pm? My only goal for the day is to get dressed, go to the apartment complex office, and get a copy of our lease so I can apply for food stamps. So I can eat something other than lattes every day. (I love having an espresso machine, it is my reason for living, and the reason I am never ever allowed to complain about our roommate.) I better get moving, the office closes at 6, and I am very slow moving these days.
xoxo
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Fame
My cousin had a theory that due to the internet and social networking, no one can ever again be truly "famous."
It's an interesting idea. I think a person's initial reaction would be "What?! No! The opposite is true! The internet allows more people to be discovered and to become famous!"
But isn't that exactly it? It's like Syndrome said in The Incredibles, "And when everyone's super, no one will be." [yes, I did just quote a Pixar movie]
I think the classic idea of "fame" was created by significant amounts of mystery. People became starstruck over actors and actresses, because though they portrayed all sorts of characters that viewers could intimately connect with, none of these personas were the REAL them. So who were they really? Rich, talented, enigmas hidden behind sunglasses, gracefully smiling at flashing cameras.
That romantic idea cannot remotely apply to today's "famous" people like the Kardashians or other reality stars.
I'm not sure whether or not my cousin was right about fame becoming extinct. But perhaps fame has become distorted. Just as over the years the beauty of cities becomes hidden in a layer of smog and pollution, fame now means every detail of the actor's life on display. Tabloids record the most intimate of facts and make up the rest. There is no privacy, and a person's entire lives are the viewer's entertainment. Such words as "mystery" and "class" are now meaningless.
Then again... cities were probably just as polluted, dirty, and smog filled back then, it's only now that we know that smog is dangerous and not just the romantic haze of the city lights. Drugs, depression, and scandal were as much a part of Hollywood then as they were now. Perhaps it's good that we now shine a spotlight on those on the stage, because now they can't get away with it (without public shaming at least).
I don't know... regardless of these meandering thoughts, I still think the celebrities of Audrey Hepburn's day are classy, romantic, and lovely. And yet.... I also think it would be quite nice to be famous today as well. Perhaps if I became famous, I could pull some mystery and intrigue back into the mix?
(Because shine as many spotlights on me as you like, good luck figuring me out. I've been living with me for 23 years and I've got no fucking clue what's going on.)
It's an interesting idea. I think a person's initial reaction would be "What?! No! The opposite is true! The internet allows more people to be discovered and to become famous!"
But isn't that exactly it? It's like Syndrome said in The Incredibles, "And when everyone's super, no one will be." [yes, I did just quote a Pixar movie]
I think the classic idea of "fame" was created by significant amounts of mystery. People became starstruck over actors and actresses, because though they portrayed all sorts of characters that viewers could intimately connect with, none of these personas were the REAL them. So who were they really? Rich, talented, enigmas hidden behind sunglasses, gracefully smiling at flashing cameras.
That romantic idea cannot remotely apply to today's "famous" people like the Kardashians or other reality stars.
I'm not sure whether or not my cousin was right about fame becoming extinct. But perhaps fame has become distorted. Just as over the years the beauty of cities becomes hidden in a layer of smog and pollution, fame now means every detail of the actor's life on display. Tabloids record the most intimate of facts and make up the rest. There is no privacy, and a person's entire lives are the viewer's entertainment. Such words as "mystery" and "class" are now meaningless.
Then again... cities were probably just as polluted, dirty, and smog filled back then, it's only now that we know that smog is dangerous and not just the romantic haze of the city lights. Drugs, depression, and scandal were as much a part of Hollywood then as they were now. Perhaps it's good that we now shine a spotlight on those on the stage, because now they can't get away with it (without public shaming at least).
I don't know... regardless of these meandering thoughts, I still think the celebrities of Audrey Hepburn's day are classy, romantic, and lovely. And yet.... I also think it would be quite nice to be famous today as well. Perhaps if I became famous, I could pull some mystery and intrigue back into the mix?
(Because shine as many spotlights on me as you like, good luck figuring me out. I've been living with me for 23 years and I've got no fucking clue what's going on.)
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Hunger Games vs. Battle Royale
So I hope everyone enjoyed my Sherlock reference in those first two blog posts. And if you didn't catch it, then we probably can't be friends. Or at the very least, it will be very difficult.
I've been meaning to write this for a while... like say right after I finished The Hunger Games and watched Battle Royale... but life, etc. you know.
I work at a bookstore, so of course, The Hunger Games are a BIG DEAL. Lots of people have been comparing them to Battle Royale, which when I read the books, I had not yet watched (I know, I know, travesty and all that). I have since amended this, and yes, Battle Royale was AWESOME. But I don't think it's fair to say that The Hunger Games were just copying Battle Royale and that Battle Royale was SOOOOOOO much better and The Hunger Games are TOTALLY lame and the same as Twilight.
First off, I should say I have not yet seen The Hunger Games movie. I plan on it, but I don't really pay for movies whenever possible and I work at least 6 days a week so it just hasn't happened yet. All I know about the movie is that the girl that plays Katniss is rather hot. [Wait. Is she legal? Ah, okay she is, never mind, we're good.] So that is to say, I'm comparing a book to a movie, which is never really fair to do.
I'm going to argue that all the naysayers that have been saying Battle Royale is AWESOME and The Hunger Games SUCKS are really just comparing apples and oranges. Why can't they both be delicious? Sure, they're both fruit, but despite that similarity, there are enough differences between the two to make it unfair to force someone to "choose sides" as it were.
The most basic argument I've heard is that both movies are about children being forced to kill each other. While this may seem like a very unique plot, some would say there is no such thing as a unique plot anymore. Every story, whether it be in a book, a movie, a tv show, or anything else, can be pared down to a basic plot that has been done before. Let's face it, it's 2012 and people have been coming stories long before a system of writing had even been created. As time goes on, the harder it will be to come up with unique stories, as is very obvious when one looks at the movies (read: sequels and remakes) that are coming out these days. It's not all bad though, this just is an opportunity for writers to really push the limits of their creativity. No more slacking and using basic ideas, and you can pretty much throw out that novella you started on the teenage vampire in love, because it's been done at least 32 times already. We have a best selling paranormal romance highlights section. Yes, it's come to that point.
Speaking of points, I should get back to mine... Battle Royale and The Hunger Games both play with a similar idea: what if children had to fight each other? But the answers that Koushun Takami and Suzanne Collins gave to that question were quite different.
I'm going to jump ahead to deal with one thing I heard said. "I don't get it, why didn't the kids just NOT kill each other in The Hunger Games? I mean, at least in Battle Royale there were BOMBS so they HAD to kill each other..." I hadn't thought of this until that person said this (a coworker I think) but it's a really interesting observation, and I actually thing it adds a deeper level of observation of the human psyche in both Battle Royale and The Hunger Games. Battle Royale looks at "what if the children were suddenly forced, with no prior knowledge, to kill each other?" whereas in The Hunger Games, the idea is "what if children were raised knowing there was the possibility they would have to kill each other?" These are VERY different scenarios not to mention the fact that in Battle Royale all the children knew each other whereas in The Hunger games, most were strangers. Of course any human, if forced to make the choice, would rather kill someone they didn't know than someone they did. It's easier to rationalize the death of a stranger.
Back to the idea The Hunger Games deals with. What if children were raised knowing they would have to kill each other? This is not so much a look into the human psyche as it is a look at society, humans as a whole. Battle Royale is more a psychological level whereas The Hunger Games could be called more sociological. Battle Royale looks at the individual classmates, all of whom have enemies, crushes, and friends they are now being told to kill. What would this do to a person? How would you react, if in your first year of high school, you were told only one of your class could survive? You have enemies in your class, best friends, and a crush. What horrible conflicting thoughts would battle in your mind? Battle Royale could really be called a psychological gore fest, if you look at it this way.
The Hunger Games is different. For generations and generations, this is the way things have been done. It's in history books. There is no other way. Why didn't the kids just not kill each other? If for no other reason, it's because that's just not the way it's done. When something lasts long enough to become tradition throughout the ages, there IS no other way. Especially not in the minds of young, fearful, society controlled, insecure teens. Not to mention if one kid refused to kill the others, he would be killed, and even on the impossible chance that all the children would not fight, then their families would likely be slaughtered. This is obvious with [slight spoiler] Katniss' rebellious act at the end of the first book and how she pays dearly in the second and last books. [end slight spoiler]
On to another difference. Battle Royale is a snapshot. Other than a few lines of setting the scene at the beginning and a few seconds of a hint of what kind of future awaits, the movie focuses on the single battle royale that this one particular class undergoes. The Hunger Games is more of an epic scale. [SPOILER] By the end of the third book, there are no more hunger games.[END SPOILER] But at the end of Battle Royale... [spoiler] the two surviving children haven't really changed their society at all. In fact, we don't even really know exactly how they are affected by their experiences.[end spoiler] Again I get the feeling of psychology versus sociology. But this particular argument could be different if I read the book Battle Royale. I will admit that.
One of my friends (whom I love dearly despite my disagreement on this particular point) said that by the second and third books, Katniss was so whiny it was intolerable. I would call this "realism." I think Katniss held up rather well considering the SHIT she underwent, I mean, we're talking major PTSD. The fact that she has nightmares for the rest of her life -I- would say was pretty damn realistic.
Something I read somewhere on the internet that I would also like to argue against. [MAJOR spoiler] They said it was out of character for Katniss to settle down and have a family at the end of the third book, because she was always so independent. Okay. For one, she was so opposed to having a family all along BECAUSE of the games. Why would anyone want to have children in a world in which you might have to watch your child die or at best, become a murderer? She didn't want to be with someone because it wouldn't be fair to whomever she was with if he wanted children. I would also argue she was afraid of her own feelings, due to that stubborn idea that showing feelings for someone can make someone look weak. Second. This argument implies that an independent woman (or person in general) cannot be in a committed relationship and be independent. Which I find quite rude and a bit personally insulting.
Final argument to deal with (that I can think of right now). The Hunger Games is just like Twilight.
No. No, no, no.
Okay, yes, movie companies are pushing the FUCK out of this movie and book series with marketing, the advertising is EVERYWHERE and it is COMPLETELY fucking ridiculous. I'm not trying to argue that The Hunger Games series is even worth all the hype. Sure, they're great, I ate them up, I couldn't put them down. But you should see the merchandise. At my bookstore, we sell Hunger Games UMBRELLAS. No joke. You name it, there is a Hunger Games version of it. Movie people are DESPERATE for something big, Harry Potter's over, Twilight is done (thank god) and they reeeeeeeeally need the next big thing. Twilight didn't get as big as Harry Potter and they're in withdrawal after having 8 years of guaranteed hit selling movies/books/posters/jewelry/underwear. So yeah, the hype is a bit over the top. But! That doesn't mean that it's not a great series definitely worth a read. I am guilty of the temptation to scoff at anything that is trending intensely, I understand that, but just because it's fad level popular right now doesn't make it TWILIGHT.
I'm not going to spend much time on this.
1. Plot is better. (and no sparkly vampires)
2. Characterization is better. (the main character has a personality, flaws, and strengths. Both male leads have both flaws and strengths.)
3. It's well written.
Okay. Done with that.
In conclusion, it's okay to love Battle Royale and The Hunger Games. See Battle Royale, read The Hunger Games. I highly recommend both. Comparing is fun, baseless hating is not fun :( .
So thanks for reading this ESSAY I unintentionally wrote. Sorry I didn't correctly italicize my book and movie titles. Are movie titles italicized or in quotes? Oh well, don't care, no longer in school. If anyone actually read all this then... wow... that's kind of amazing....
Next time my blog will probably be something more personal!
Now I'm going to go pee and watch CAPTAIN AMERICA yaaaaay if my internet doesn't fail because it sucks.
Bye!
I've been meaning to write this for a while... like say right after I finished The Hunger Games and watched Battle Royale... but life, etc. you know.
I work at a bookstore, so of course, The Hunger Games are a BIG DEAL. Lots of people have been comparing them to Battle Royale, which when I read the books, I had not yet watched (I know, I know, travesty and all that). I have since amended this, and yes, Battle Royale was AWESOME. But I don't think it's fair to say that The Hunger Games were just copying Battle Royale and that Battle Royale was SOOOOOOO much better and The Hunger Games are TOTALLY lame and the same as Twilight.
First off, I should say I have not yet seen The Hunger Games movie. I plan on it, but I don't really pay for movies whenever possible and I work at least 6 days a week so it just hasn't happened yet. All I know about the movie is that the girl that plays Katniss is rather hot. [Wait. Is she legal? Ah, okay she is, never mind, we're good.] So that is to say, I'm comparing a book to a movie, which is never really fair to do.
I'm going to argue that all the naysayers that have been saying Battle Royale is AWESOME and The Hunger Games SUCKS are really just comparing apples and oranges. Why can't they both be delicious? Sure, they're both fruit, but despite that similarity, there are enough differences between the two to make it unfair to force someone to "choose sides" as it were.
The most basic argument I've heard is that both movies are about children being forced to kill each other. While this may seem like a very unique plot, some would say there is no such thing as a unique plot anymore. Every story, whether it be in a book, a movie, a tv show, or anything else, can be pared down to a basic plot that has been done before. Let's face it, it's 2012 and people have been coming stories long before a system of writing had even been created. As time goes on, the harder it will be to come up with unique stories, as is very obvious when one looks at the movies (read: sequels and remakes) that are coming out these days. It's not all bad though, this just is an opportunity for writers to really push the limits of their creativity. No more slacking and using basic ideas, and you can pretty much throw out that novella you started on the teenage vampire in love, because it's been done at least 32 times already. We have a best selling paranormal romance highlights section. Yes, it's come to that point.
Speaking of points, I should get back to mine... Battle Royale and The Hunger Games both play with a similar idea: what if children had to fight each other? But the answers that Koushun Takami and Suzanne Collins gave to that question were quite different.
I'm going to jump ahead to deal with one thing I heard said. "I don't get it, why didn't the kids just NOT kill each other in The Hunger Games? I mean, at least in Battle Royale there were BOMBS so they HAD to kill each other..." I hadn't thought of this until that person said this (a coworker I think) but it's a really interesting observation, and I actually thing it adds a deeper level of observation of the human psyche in both Battle Royale and The Hunger Games. Battle Royale looks at "what if the children were suddenly forced, with no prior knowledge, to kill each other?" whereas in The Hunger Games, the idea is "what if children were raised knowing there was the possibility they would have to kill each other?" These are VERY different scenarios not to mention the fact that in Battle Royale all the children knew each other whereas in The Hunger games, most were strangers. Of course any human, if forced to make the choice, would rather kill someone they didn't know than someone they did. It's easier to rationalize the death of a stranger.
Back to the idea The Hunger Games deals with. What if children were raised knowing they would have to kill each other? This is not so much a look into the human psyche as it is a look at society, humans as a whole. Battle Royale is more a psychological level whereas The Hunger Games could be called more sociological. Battle Royale looks at the individual classmates, all of whom have enemies, crushes, and friends they are now being told to kill. What would this do to a person? How would you react, if in your first year of high school, you were told only one of your class could survive? You have enemies in your class, best friends, and a crush. What horrible conflicting thoughts would battle in your mind? Battle Royale could really be called a psychological gore fest, if you look at it this way.
The Hunger Games is different. For generations and generations, this is the way things have been done. It's in history books. There is no other way. Why didn't the kids just not kill each other? If for no other reason, it's because that's just not the way it's done. When something lasts long enough to become tradition throughout the ages, there IS no other way. Especially not in the minds of young, fearful, society controlled, insecure teens. Not to mention if one kid refused to kill the others, he would be killed, and even on the impossible chance that all the children would not fight, then their families would likely be slaughtered. This is obvious with [slight spoiler] Katniss' rebellious act at the end of the first book and how she pays dearly in the second and last books. [end slight spoiler]
On to another difference. Battle Royale is a snapshot. Other than a few lines of setting the scene at the beginning and a few seconds of a hint of what kind of future awaits, the movie focuses on the single battle royale that this one particular class undergoes. The Hunger Games is more of an epic scale. [SPOILER] By the end of the third book, there are no more hunger games.[END SPOILER] But at the end of Battle Royale... [spoiler] the two surviving children haven't really changed their society at all. In fact, we don't even really know exactly how they are affected by their experiences.[end spoiler] Again I get the feeling of psychology versus sociology. But this particular argument could be different if I read the book Battle Royale. I will admit that.
One of my friends (whom I love dearly despite my disagreement on this particular point) said that by the second and third books, Katniss was so whiny it was intolerable. I would call this "realism." I think Katniss held up rather well considering the SHIT she underwent, I mean, we're talking major PTSD. The fact that she has nightmares for the rest of her life -I- would say was pretty damn realistic.
Something I read somewhere on the internet that I would also like to argue against. [MAJOR spoiler] They said it was out of character for Katniss to settle down and have a family at the end of the third book, because she was always so independent. Okay. For one, she was so opposed to having a family all along BECAUSE of the games. Why would anyone want to have children in a world in which you might have to watch your child die or at best, become a murderer? She didn't want to be with someone because it wouldn't be fair to whomever she was with if he wanted children. I would also argue she was afraid of her own feelings, due to that stubborn idea that showing feelings for someone can make someone look weak. Second. This argument implies that an independent woman (or person in general) cannot be in a committed relationship and be independent. Which I find quite rude and a bit personally insulting.
Final argument to deal with (that I can think of right now). The Hunger Games is just like Twilight.
No. No, no, no.
Okay, yes, movie companies are pushing the FUCK out of this movie and book series with marketing, the advertising is EVERYWHERE and it is COMPLETELY fucking ridiculous. I'm not trying to argue that The Hunger Games series is even worth all the hype. Sure, they're great, I ate them up, I couldn't put them down. But you should see the merchandise. At my bookstore, we sell Hunger Games UMBRELLAS. No joke. You name it, there is a Hunger Games version of it. Movie people are DESPERATE for something big, Harry Potter's over, Twilight is done (thank god) and they reeeeeeeeally need the next big thing. Twilight didn't get as big as Harry Potter and they're in withdrawal after having 8 years of guaranteed hit selling movies/books/posters/jewelry/underwear. So yeah, the hype is a bit over the top. But! That doesn't mean that it's not a great series definitely worth a read. I am guilty of the temptation to scoff at anything that is trending intensely, I understand that, but just because it's fad level popular right now doesn't make it TWILIGHT.
I'm not going to spend much time on this.
1. Plot is better. (and no sparkly vampires)
2. Characterization is better. (the main character has a personality, flaws, and strengths. Both male leads have both flaws and strengths.)
3. It's well written.
Okay. Done with that.
In conclusion, it's okay to love Battle Royale and The Hunger Games. See Battle Royale, read The Hunger Games. I highly recommend both. Comparing is fun, baseless hating is not fun :( .
So thanks for reading this ESSAY I unintentionally wrote. Sorry I didn't correctly italicize my book and movie titles. Are movie titles italicized or in quotes? Oh well, don't care, no longer in school. If anyone actually read all this then... wow... that's kind of amazing....
Next time my blog will probably be something more personal!
Now I'm going to go pee and watch CAPTAIN AMERICA yaaaaay if my internet doesn't fail because it sucks.
Bye!
Friday, March 30, 2012
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)